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Showing posts from 2015

Relationships Are Supposed to Be Challenging

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Love may be "easy", but relationships were never meant to be that way. Ideally, relationships are based on love. You commit to a person because you love them. Love is supposed to be easy. Love is supposed to flow with ease and permeate every fiber of your being. Love is supposed to show you the way and be your foundation and guide your decisions.  It sounds pretty simple, and it could be. But we are human beings and human beings are known for being perfectly flawed and riddled with complexes, insecurities, illusions, entitlements, and bad habits. We're all capable of radiating love towards ourselves and our partners, but as humans, we are also equipped with obstacles that get in the way. And this is why relationships can hurt so much sometimes. When we let our inner obstacles get in the way of love, we withdraw love. We can withdraw love from ourselves, from our partners, or altogether. When we withdraw our love, we create a space for pain to fill. We fill that space with

Can't Trust Anyone? Does Everyone Let You Down? Do You Hate People? How Limiting Beliefs Hurt Your Social Life

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One of the most limiting beliefs that people may invest in is the belief that others are trying to bring them down and limit them. While this realization is necessary and helpful in recognizing an abusive relationship, this belief is otherwise useless and needs to be dropped. It is time to move on. Everyone is on different stages of the healing path. The path can't be rushed or forced, but it can be encouraged. I am here to encourage you to get out of a certain rut on the path that dictates that you will come across more and more interactions/relationships that continue to disappoint you. If you have the belief that other people can't handle you or that other people are just trying to bring you down/ dim your light, then you're going to be proved right. If you're tired of being proven right, then stop the belief. Why You Formed The Belief It couldn't hurt to wonder why you formed and adopted the belief in the first place. Did you just get out of a slew of bad relati

How to Stop Being So Offended By Everything

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Taking everything personally sucks. You get frustrated, angry, and offended by opinions that usually weren't expressed for the purpose of an attack or threat. This tendency leads you to feel alienated, oversensitive, and alone. I'm sure you don't want to feel alienated, oversensitive, and alone. Its fine to be offended. If someone says or does something that you find genuinely harmful/ignorant/wrong, you have every right to speak up, challenge their opinion and defend your own. The problem lies in entitlement. If you think people should cater to your beliefs/opinions and tiptoe around you to indulge your reactiveness/oversensitivity, then you will be disappointed time and time again. You will turn into an emotional wreck and no one of strong character will want to be around you because you will irritate them with your neediness and entitlement. It can suck to hear, but no one wants to be around a  judgmental crybaby. It's great to be sensitive, and it's great to be

What True Love Is Like For An Alpha Woman

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    Dear fellow women who have been called intimidating, strong, and free-spirited, do not fall for the lies that massage your ego. Fellow ladies who identify with being fearless, a leader, a force to reckoned with, do not cheat yourself by prescribing to a set of limiting beliefs that only reinforce a tainted lens that robs you of seeing the full beauty in your truly delicate, vulnerable life. Alpha women, do not settle for a lifestyle that operates from a place of dismissal and arrogance in life and in love. Strong, independent ladies- do not fuck yourself over by accepting your current crowd. Your current crowd is what drives you to differentiate yourself. Your current environment is what drives you to profess your superiority to the pettiness and mindlessness that surrounds you. Do not cheat yourself by thinking this is where your throne resides. Do not cheat yourself by believing that this is the kingdom over which you reign supreme- you as the alpha female in the land of the stup

How to Stop Fighting With Your Partner

In any relationship, fights and emotional arguments are inevitable. Fights have a generally bad reputation- problems arise, offense is taken, words become sharp, passion is ignited, and the issue is often only resolved after both parties calm down and think rationally about the situation. These arguments usually arise from tiny annoyances, quickly escalating into a slew of passive aggressive recollections of unresolved hurts, petty speeches of defense, and a growing inability to switch perspective. We get so attached to being right, to being the one hurt, to being the one who is asked too much of, that what we don't even want what we need- resolution and relief. I believe that fights are inevitable. Two people growing more intimately with one another are bound to run into personal differences that are met with great resistance from the other. This resistance can really hurt. We're annoyed that they refuse to be more considerate, compassionate, logical, emotional, etc. We have a

How to Live a Meaningful Life: What is Meaningfulness?

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Image from: http://www.progressfocusedapproach.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Happiness-Meaningfulness.jpg What is meaningfulness? A meaningful life with a meaningful job, meaningful relationships, and meaningful passions is often prescribed as the means to a fulfilling life. Yet the idea of meaningfulness is a vague one- what gives an experience meaning? In order to really find what is meaningful, the concept just be consciously defined in order to align intentions and actions in the right direction. What does meaningfulness do? Meaningfulness leads to fulfillment. A meaningless encounter is unfulfilling. Why do certain experiences fulfill us? I think that fulfillment is the satisfaction of our deeper needs. Deeper needs differ with the individual, but common deeper needs such as trust, connection, and a sense of belonging seem to be among the more universal requirements. Fulfilling Encounters For example, Person A feels unfulfilled with her relationship with Person B because their i

Why You Shouldn't Care if You're an Introvert or Extrovert

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The introverts vs. extroverts war needs to stop. As the Introvert Movement is gaining momentum, a plethora of articles glorifying introverts and attacking their more outward-focused counterparts has been suffocating the internet. Propagation of stereotypes, muddled definitions, and faulty cross-referencing spread like a virus infecting those in need of identity. The theory of introversion and extroversion is just that- a theory. Originally popularized, and badly muddled since, by the psychologist Carl Jung, introversion and extroversion were defined as behaviors. Introversion is defined as  an "attitude-type characterized by orientation in life through subjective psychic contents" (focus on one's inner psychic activity); and extraversion is defined  as "an attitude type characterized by concentration of interest on the external object" (the outside world). Behavior, not identity, is the basis behind the introversion-extroversion continuum. To think in terms of b

How to Apply the Fuck Yes or No Rule to Your Awesomesauce Life

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I'm a fan of Mark Manson's "Fuck Yes or No" rule . This rule states that if you don't say "Fuck Yes!" to a proposition, then it is a no. This means that if you aren't totally enthusiastic about someone or something, then don't go for it. If you meet someone and you don't feel that "fuck yes" positivity towards being their friend/date/business partner, then don't go for it. Of course, this requires an open mind and a quiet ego and a developed intuition to really work. An open mind, quiet ego, and developed intuition are essential to a good life, regardless of whether one adopts the Fuck Yes or No rule, so definitely work on those aspects first before trying to make the rule work and having it fail because all the mental/emotional/ego clutter gets in the way. The Fuck Yes or No rule begs for further examination and alignment. To really apply this rule to all aspects of your life, you really need to take it to the next level: expec